I love to travel internationally. Experiencing new cultures, foods, sights, and even climates is exhilarating to me. However, communication is often a challenge. We’ve all heard horror stories of some silly American in another country trying to speak in the native language and mistaking simple conversational words like “taxi” or “friend” with something that would make Miley Cyrus blush.
Guys, may I let you in on a secret, we do this with our wives more than we think. Sometimes our intent can be lost in translation. With a little help from my incredibly brilliant and creative wife, I want to let you in on a few commonly misinterpreted phrases.
Oh… and, you’re welcome.
You’re just like your mother.
Translation: “You are turning into everything I hoped you would not.”
Even if you really like your mother-in-law, you don’t want to be married to her. If that statement confuses you, we have other issues to deal with. The point is, your wife sees her mom’s flaws and likely lives in fear that she will one day develop those perceived negative qualities. Remind her that she is your one-and-only love for a lifetime– for better or worse.
Remind her that she is your one-and-only love for a lifetime– for better or worse.
You’re too emotional.
Translation: “Your feelings are not important. Therefore you are not important.”
She is wired that way, guys. It is part of God’s beautiful design of the feminine heart. To tell her that she is too emotional is like telling a turkey that it gobbles too much or a cow that it shouldn’t moo. Those animals were uniquely designed to express themselves that way. They can’t help it. And, guess what, neither can your wife help expressing her emotion. To attempt to convince her to not do this is to tell her that you want her to be someone else. And, the way she is simply a bother to you. Take time each day to tune in, listen to, and affirm her heart.
We should start working out.
Translation: “You are revolting. Maybe hitting the gym would make you more attractive to me.”
She wants you to see her as captivating. You must never allow any words to come out of your mouth that could leave any doubt in her mind that you believe she is. In fact whether she has the perfect body (And by the way, she doesn’t. No one does.) or has put on the Freshman fifteen 4 or 5 times, as your wife, SHE is your standard of beauty. Remind her of it. Often!
My mom never did it that way.
Translation: “You are a let down. You can’t take care of things as good as my mom can.”
Your wife wonders every day of her life if she measures up. Is she a good enough cook, caretaker for your children, supporter of your dreams, etc? She doesn’t want you to compare her to any other woman- especially your mom. When you do, you remind her that she can never live up to those lofty standards. It is critical that you constantly find fresh ways to remind her that she indeed is enough.
Oh, it must be that time of the month.
Translation: “You are completely irrational and there is no other explanation for the way you are acting.”
Ok, first of all, SERIOUSLY!? Every man on the planet should know better than this. If you are tempted to say something as completely and utterly stupid as this, let that temptation instead drive you to offer to run her a hot bath and put the kids to bed so she can relax.
Translation: “I’m being silent because I don’t care enough about you to empathize with your feelings or share my own.”
Not only does your woman want you to tune in to her emotionally. She wants to know how you feel. That’s why your silence is deafening to her. Men, as difficult as it is to slow our lives down and press into the often uncomfortable space of introspection and emotion, we must for the sake of our wives’ hearts (and for that matter, the health of our own).
What would you add to the list?
Content originally posted here