General George Patton was a United States Army commander during World War II. Legend has it that near the end of the War, General Patton proclaimed, “We defeated the wrong enemy.” Most historians believe he was referring to his desire to turn attention toward the Russians instead of Germany. There are varying opinions as to whether he was correct in his assessment. But his statement could not be more descriptive of my observation of many marriages (including my own).
The Bible is clear that we have an enemy that is seeking destroy our marriages and take from us everything that we hold dear (John 10:10). But often in times of disagreement and tension, rather than recognizing the real enemy, spouses align their sights on each other. When we do this, the real enemy has us right where he wants us. He is wounding us and our marriages deeply, and all the while using us to do it to each other.
In marriage, we are not enemies. We are not even just allies. We are one flesh! Any wounds to one spouse is a wound to the other. Heed the advice of General Patton. Be careful to not defeat the wrong enemy. Because of the cross, the real enemy is already defeated. Fight together. Because of the cross, the victory is already yours.